I Owe My Life To Bat Guano

Recently I needed a break from counseling.  So my wife and I took our family on a short excursion to New Mexico.  While on the trip we visited Carlsbad Caverns.  The 51-degree caverns were spectacular and a cool reprieve from the 105-degree New Mexico desert heat.

The night we arrived we were able to witness hundreds of thousands of bats exiting the cave at sunset.  The bats that live in the cave are Mexican Freetail bats and are very tiny.  They winter in Mexico and spend spring and summer at the caverns.  Every evening they leave the cave to go on an all night feed.

          As they came out of the cave each bat seemed to circle the entrance of the cave several times before disappearing into the desert night.  The circling motion reminded me of a tornado.  This tornado of bats was quite a sight to see.  As the bats swirled around in a circle, some of the bats flew through the crowd of people that were watching, barely missing many of the spectators.  My son had one barely miss his ear and my daughter had one buzz the top of her head.

A high pitch whisper of a sound was created as the bats swirled around and around before their departure.  The bats also brought with them a sweet smell that reminded me of the smell of a flower.  My daughter described it as a musty honeysuckle smell.  The bats entertained us for at least 20 minutes until the flock of bats gradually dwindled to a few.  It was truly an extraordinary experience.

         This experience reminded me of another experience I had in which some bats literally saved my life.  It happened at Boy Scout camp in Northern Colorado when I was 14 years old.  Camp was all about learning things such as woodcarving, canoeing, survival skills, knot tying, etc.  All of the scouts were required to take different classes in the morning.  In the afternoon we had free time to explore the surrounding mountains.

         On one particular afternoon my friend Mike LaGree and I decided to climb a canyon wall.  The canyon wall had narrow ledges that we carefully inched our way along.  While traversing one ledge I noticed a black tar-like substance that was in the crevices of the canyon wall.  My friend informed me that it was bat guano (poo).  I remember thinking, “How gross!”  I made a mental note to be sure not to touch it as I continued climbing.

          I was a pretty good climber and liked to push my limits.  The only time I experienced fear while climbing was when I looked down.  So when I climb I make a point to avoid looking down!

         Mike and I were making very good progress scaling the 150-foot canyon wall, and had almost made it to the top, when the unthinkable happened.  I lost my footing and I began to fall.  I had stepped onto some loose gravel and my feet literally slid out from under me.  I was at least a hundred feet above the canyon floor when I began my fall.

I frantically grabbed for anything that could stop my descent.  My hands kept coming up empty and then suddenly my right hand latched on to something solid.  Dangling by one hand, with my body swaying back and forth over the hundred-foot precipice, I looked down.  With my other hand I took the time to stuff my heart back down my throat and then I pulled myself to safety.

        As I was hanging there, literally clinging to dear life, I realized that what I was holding on to was “bat guano”.  The black tar like excrement had solidified and was stuck to the rock like concrete.  If it hadn’t been for the droppings of some friendly neighborhood bats, I would not be alive to tell you my tale.  After that experience I never looked at bat guano the same.

       You may wonder what this story has to do with counseling.  The truth is nothing, except that not all guano that comes into our lives is necessarily bad.  The Scripture states that, “All things work together for the good of those that love the Lord.” and thus a little guano could possibly be a blessing in disguise.

Mike Scarlett is a marriage and family counselor.  He can be reached at mikescarlett.com or by calling 817-933-5041.

Phony Baloney and the Doctrine of Okay

There once was a little boy who knocked on his neighbor’s door.  When the lady of the house answered he innocently asked, “Where is your other face?”  The woman said, “What do you mean?”  The little boy answered, “Well, my mom says you have two faces.”  Evidently the woman had a phony side to her.

It is very common to wear two faces when it comes to our personal beliefs.  For example, we may pray at our meals when we are with others, but not pray at our meals when we are in the privacy of our homes.  Another example is the way we treat those that we love.  Often times we don’t hesitate to let those that we are closest to feel the full force of our wrath or selfishness, while in public we may be kind, gentle, and altruistic.

As believers all of us struggle with the practical application of our beliefs to our everyday lives.  When we don’t “walk the talk” it is common for others to either think we are hypocrites or at the least doubt the sincerity of our beliefs. 

As a husband or wife we might long for our spouse to treat us the way they may treat a total stranger, namely with kindness and respect.  I often hear couples say that they wish their spouse would treat them the same way they did when they first met.

When my wife and I first met I was thrilled with how agreeable she was.  If I asked her to help me she would say, “Okay.”  If I asked her to go with me somewhere she would say, “Okay.” If I asked her to rub my back she would say, “Okay.” It was heaven on earth. 

Couples often start their marriages out with the “okay” attitude because they are infatuated with each other and want to give each other the moon.  Unfortunately, when the real work of a marriage begins, “okay” is replaced with “no,” or “never”.  This can leave the husband or wife feeling betrayed, devalued, frustrated, and often very angry.  The result can cause the couple to wonder if they married the right person.

I have thought a lot about the value of saying “okay” recently, and have come up with the “Okay Doctrine.”  Now, I don’t claim to be a theologian, so don’t get all bent out of shape.  All I am trying to do is talk about an idea that I think could help someone’s marriage. 

         The “Okay Doctrine” basically advocates that when your family members ask something of you just say “okay,” and then meet their need.  This doctrine suggests that the golden rule, Luke 6:30 (do unto others as you would have them do unto you), in turn will have a reciprocal affect.  By meeting the needs of those that you love, when it is your turn, your needs will be met too.  Disclaimer: this doctrine does not suggest in anyway that you agree to anything that is abusive, immoral, illegal, or degrading.

          The opposite of agreeableness is quarreling, opposing, bickering, nick-picking, objecting, demanding, etc.  In Proverbs 21:9 the writer talks about the value of living on the corner of a rooftop rather than in a “whole house with a quarreling woman.”  It is difficult to be around a disagreeable person, whether a man or a woman.  Living with a disagreeable person can be Hell on Earth, while living with an agreeable person can be Heaven on Earth.

          The scriptures also suggest that God says “okay” and is agreeable too.  Matt 7:7 seems to suggest that if we ask God for something he will say Okay and give it to us.  And why wouldn’t he give to us if he truly loves us?  After all, he is our heavenly father. For what father among us doesn’t want to give good gifts to his children (Matt 7:9:12)?

           Are you having conflict in your home?  Does your marriage seem dead?  Has the feeling of love faded?  Do you find yourself in the middle of endless arguments?  If you answered yes to any of these questions you may want to adopt the “Okay Doctrine” for your home.  You can begin now by agreeing with me and saying “Okay.”